Boys and Their Toys

I recently gave my boyfriend a sex toy (and ooooh I just told the world) - what a scandal!  Men have often been excluded from the joys of sex toys by either being labelled as pervy or desperate when perusing sex shops. Heaven forbid they admit to owning (and liking) their new love glove! But why is it so taboo?

Sex toys have a lot to offer - and not just to women. Studies from the Kinsey Institute (aka the holy grail of sexuality research) have examined men and women's sex toy habits and research from the University of Guelph that was recently presented at a national sexuality conference, shows that sex toys can actually enhance men's sexual experiences with their partners. Men report increases in sexual pleasure thanks to the heightened sensations on their erogenous zones and from the elements of fun/novelty/variety that a toy brings to their sexual experience. Furthermore, when incorporating toys into their coupled sessions, men found that their partner's increased enjoyment actually made sex that much more pleasurable for them too. And if that wasn't enough, men felt sex toys were a stimulous that encouraged them to be more in touch with their sexuality and initiate more open communication with their partners about their sexual styles, needs and desires. Overall, sex toys actually increased intimacy! (Dear lawmakers....the "legal limit" of vibrators in certain states was ridiculous before, but is even more ridiculous now given these new findings. Just sayin).

Solo use of sex toys is not just a replacement activity for men who "can't get laid" just as vibrator use for women is not just because "their lovers can't satisfy them". I'm not even sure where those stereotypes came from, but I do know that they detract from the real gift of toys - which is the additional pleasure on top of the already awesome chocolate cake that is sex or masturbation.

I won't ask my partner to publically report on his experience with his new toy, but I feel safe to assume that our trial runs set him up for an exciting exploratory journey with his sexuality. And as a girlfriend, this is something I highly encourage. When your partner is eager to be open and sexual and knows exactly how they want to be pleasured, the guess work is taken out of the picture, and you are left with so much more time on your *erm..hands* to put that information to good use.

E